The Editor is in

Creativity isn't something that you can push and sometimes when you write, you have to figure out what the heck it is/was/might be. I started by amending the typos - brian instead of brain and girfiend, you get the idea.

I'm trying to eliminate "so" from my writing - every writer has a couple of bad habits, "so" and "anyway" are mine. So, (it's a staged process) having thought through the questions I usually ask, I have the following:

- Sarah is a character I already know. She's a jobbing actress, doing pretty well although not "big-time". I had been thinking a few weeks ago about how I might extend her, and it looks like Sarah decided comedy needed a try out. Verdict: I'm not sure it works. Sarah is also attached - to Mac. Something this line ignores. She's tall, feminine, sassy; pretends to be dumb when in fact she's pretty smart. She's an American, born in Seattle - or New York; I hadn't really made my mind up on that one.

- Brodie appeared in my head not that long ago. She's very smart - an academic and civil rights expert. She's married but her wife is back home in the UK - Brodie is on a 6 month secondment to Washington advising on civil rights legislation. When I hear Brodie in my head, she has a soft Irish brogue.

- Brodie and Sarah, as a combination is actually a pretty good one. Sarah has had a number of smart ass dates, but no-one who really captures her attention intellectually. Mac has been around a while and it's undemanding but comfortable. Sarah is fiercely independent and doesn't like to be "looked after". Brodie has strength and depth; she likes women who stand on their own two feet, like to be appreciated, but don't 'cling'. On reflection, they could be made for each other. (There are times as a writer you begin to realise that you're simply a character dating agency...)

- What is this story's main line? It puts Sarah in a new field for me. Perhaps she has a new role as a comedian in a movie/show and is doing the research so to speak. The big question is how she and Brodie got there, and although we're told that they met online; it doesn't explain why they were online to start with. Why would two people already in relationships look for something new? Sarah tells us why in the piece - the sex drive mismatch. But Brodie is more a guest appearance. Maybe this isn't something serious for Brodie - partner 5,000 miles away; knowledge that in a few months time she will be returning to the UK. Only that doesn't sit with my view of the character. I see her as more thoughtful, gentle, caring. Not as someone who would easily have an affair - but as all writers know, sometimes the characters have different ideas!

- The story line, the comedy show, has possibilities. We learn a lot about Sarah and there's a couple of good lines in there that I like. It needs some polish. The point from "Yeah we met online" onwards is kind of rushed; but in a sense that conveys Sarah's urgency to finish the set and get to Brodie. There's no real punchline to the story she's telling though, it needs a better ending. The audience, so obvious before Brodie enters, disappear in this section too - but again that highlights Sarah's attention being drawn towards Brodie.

- I don't think Sarah would say 'ruddy' , 'f%#king' definitely, 'ruddy', nope!!

- I still haven't figured out why they would have met in NY - except my subconscious probably felt a comedy bar in NY was more likely that DC.

- I don't think Sarah would date someone she knew was married, so either Brodie is lying to her; or this Brodie is unattached.

- The NY part is really puzzling me. It's the only place in the US I've ever been to, so maybe it's my comfort zone. But it doesn't make sense for Brodie and Sarah to meet there rather than, say LA. In fact it makes more sense for Brodie to go to LA and meet Sarah - Brodie's the one with the well paid job; Sarah is a jobbing actress. Decision 1 - we need a scene shift.

- Actually, I've also made decision 2. This is Brodie, but not Washington Brodie. This is LA Brodie - I just need to figure out how she got there - we have a green card to justify....

- Decision 3 - I need to talk to a writer who is good at comedy routines; someone who can tell me where I'm going wrong -Why it makes me smile but not laugh.

I have a lot to do, see you back here for draft 2.

Stage Two

Normally, when I throw some words down on a page, I leave them to the side for a week or two. Not so having just published them on my blog!

So, what's next? A lot of writers think about what they're going to write before they put pen to paper. For me the ideas, in whatever form, simply arrive in my head. I never sit down to write because it's what I do next - that doesn't work for me. Yesterday morning, I was sitting on the train when the thoughts below arrived in my head. I wrote them down and typed them straight into my blog when I got to a computer - unedited as you can tell!

When you write like this, what you get is a lot of ideas in a rough outline that need a considerable amount of work. Some of it can be brilliant straight off and needs very little editing to help it into shape - unlike yesterday's which needs a lot of something!

Actually, yesterday's paras surprised me somewhat. The characters, Sarah and Brodie, are no strangers to me. Sarah is my main character in a set of short stories -she arrived in one story and has kind of hung around. What surprised me about this appearance is that she's never been a stand up comedian before. Brodie and Sarah are probably a good combination. Brodie is a relatively new creation for me and I'm still figuring her out.

The questions I generally ask myself now are

- what is the main story line in this new writing?
- does it fit with anything else I'm writing?
- do the characters work together?
- what is each of the segments about?
- what is the message?
- how does it get delivered?
- what's its main function?
- how does the action move through this piece?
- how do each of the characters move the story along?
- is there anything that doesn't add to the story telling?
- how do I want the readers to feel at this point?
- what's the most important thing the reader needs to know?
- are there things here the reader doesn't need to know?
- what happened before?
- what happens next?
- does it tell a story I want to tell?

You know what I'm doing for the next 24 hours!

The Rough Draft

I fired down a few lines this morning on the train, and I thought I'd put the first rough draft up here. I'll work on it and then show you the finished copy. Just remember - it's rough, unpolished and only slightly edited!

'The woman's response was lost as the theatre erupted in a roar of laughter.

"Seriously though" continued Sarah "that's a question I get asked a lot these days and I kind of wonder - do I look like I don't have a girlfriend?"

She looked down at the blonde in front of her and winked,

"Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus."

A voice from the back row shouted "I love you".

"Sure you do," replied Sarah. "Yes, I have a" she pauses, pursing her lips at the crowd and savouring their anticipation "partner, a lover, a friend. Or as Ellen would put it, 'a room-mate'."

She moved back a step or two from the front of the stage waiting for the cheering and applause to settle.

"Actually we're quite a new coupling. I was in a long term relationship, but we broke up. The old sex drive thing, I had one..." she let the words hang seductively in the air. "Anyway, my new friend."

She caught the eye of an attractive blonde in the front row who was holding the hand of the guy next to her.

"Hi honey" she said smiling "you straight?"

The blonde blushed and nodded.

"Not for long" replied Sarah.

The crowd catcalled and whistled. Sarah luxuriated in the knowledge that she had this crowd exactly where she wanted them. As she scanned the sea of faces, she wondered if Brodie was out there, watching her.

"So," she shouted bringing the audience back to heel "my partner, she's goooood. You know what I'm saying. We met online, as you do these days, and that's why I'm here in New York. So you have a sleazy online chat room to thank for this performance!"

"Show-off".

The word was spoken quietly, but Sarah had no difficulty hearing it. She turned to see Brodie standing behind the stage curtain, smiling broadly.

"Hi babe" she mouthed in reply. She smiled and turned her attention back to the audience.

"Yeah, we met online and my big sister, well you know what big sisters are like, in there with both feet and brain totally disengaged. She read me the riot act read at full volume. The whole act mind, not just the edited highlights. So I conceded, it was either that or die. So I agreed that maybe she was right and that you never know who these weirdos online really are. But I really wanted to meet this woman so what was I to do? Big sis had a solution, 'easy' she said 'I'll go'."

Sarah paused.

"We had a pillow fight to sort it out and well, you've seen me pillow fight.." she shrugged and gave the audience her best impersonation of childlike innocence. "So a week later, when the bruises had healed, there we are in this restaurant. The maitre de shows us to the table; the weirdo gets up and says 'hi'; my sis says 'hi' in return and the weirdo smiles. That was it for me, straight in there before big sis forgets that this is my weirdo not hers. Trouble was I was too late. That smile was her undoing, so it was dinner for 3 and the gooseberry hung around the whole night. Eventually we went back to the hotel room, just me and my sis, and we argue about who the dish likes best. We have a pillow fight to settle the argument" she laughs "I won. Thank you New York for listening, you've been a fabulous audience!! Goodnight!!"

With a final flourish of arms and hair, Sarah bounded off the stage, running straight into Brodie's arms.

"Hi gorgeous, I knew you'd be here, now take me back to bed and hump me senseless!"

"Your audience wants more" replied Brodie.

Sarah answered with a long lingering kiss. Reluctantly she returned to the stage. She picked the mike back up off the stand and stared at the audience.

"You know I could have been half undressed and on my way to orgasmic heaven, but instead you get me back here to do a ruddy encore. There's gratitude for you."

Brodie smiled. This was going to be good.'


Copyright: JJ Craiglee, 2009

What kind of a writer?

My editor reminded me that the purpose of this blog was supposed to be about my writing rather than the "inelegant rant". I like the idea of inelegance, but she is of course correct. So I figured that I'd start out by answering the question that Suzie (my ed) asked me - what kind of a writer are you?

I'm an "all kinds of" writer. Professionally, I write non-fiction - position and policy papers; strategic analysis, strategic planning documents, briefings. I love the challenge of taking a policy document, producing an interpretation, redefining, reinterpreting - coming up with a challenge or with a means of implementation. Producing the elegant responses; the insightful observation that the original scripters missed; the interpretation of bureaucracy into understandable soundbites that are easy to sell. These things challenge my writing and I love it.

I think anyone who writes does so because they love playing with language, no matter whether the subject under taken is fiction or non-fiction. I love words, putting them together in various forms of collaboration or conflict; taking them apart; forming new alliances; letting them take me to places I didn't know I could go.

Writing fictional pieces are perhaps more challenging in that here you move beyond what you know - although strategic planning has a similar requirement! - I think it was John Keats who observed that authors wrote of uncertainties and mysteries without the annoying need to bother with facts. And he's absolutely right, which is one of the reasons why writing can be so exciting. The writer gets to tell the story how s/he wants and not just fiction. I can't remember who said it but the adage is, or at least was before the Internet, true - history is written by those who win. I think too that stories told now can influence the future - think of artificial intelligence and Asimov's robot stories. Words are very powerful tools indeed.

When I write, I write first and foremost to please myself as a reader - after all if I don't like to read me why should anyone else? Perhaps this simply underlines the fact that writing is a very selfish and all absorbing activity. It is the one thing I find most difficult to share with my wife - not the final outcome, but the initial thoughts and ideas. It is difficult to explain how one can become so absorbed by an idea or a thought that the only thing you can do is write. Preferably in a room - or a cafe, which seems to work pretty well too! - away from the rest of the world, undisturbed. It's hard to sit in the same place as someone else who has an expectation that you will engage with them and at the same time write down the thoughts in your head - your companion always seems to interrupt your thoughts at exactly the wrong moment. Or perhaps it's just a talent peculiar to my wife!

Suzie also asked why I wrote. That question was easy. Because I have to. If I didn't write I would be unable to live with the pressure of "stuff" inside my head. I would never admit to hearing voices because it wouldn't actually be true, but I "hear" my characters as they develop across my brain; and the only option I have is to write on paper what's in my head. There's another reason why I write, and that's because I love writing. I love the creative process of story telling - it's what we as human beings do. Life, society, work - these are all narratives. The world's a stage and all the people but players upon it - Shakespeare (paraphrased of course!).

There's a story teller in all of us - just remember that next time someone asks how you are, how your holiday went, or what you did at the weekend; your response will be the story you tell - fictional or otherwise.

So what about the cheating lover?

The cheating lover gets the pink slip everytime. No ifs, no buts, no maybes. They cheat, they go.

Not that I've ever had a cheating lover. Up until I met my wife I was always the one to go. Not that I cheated - well okay. Once.

But the relationship was over, I just hadn't moved out. I understand how it happened. We got together quickly. The first year was great. Then the differences started to creep in. We'd talked about kids, money all that sort of stuff; but not about where my work might take me; what I really wanted to do - what she really wanted to do; we didn't talk about what was happening when the lust settled; we didn't talk about the totality of our relationship because we weren't fully engaged with it. We were together 3 years, the last two of which kind of drifted along. One of us should have ended it, but we were both lazy. It was easier just to keep things as they were, even though neither of us was particularly happy. Not that this is any excuse.

I know now that I should have ended the relationship long before I did. It wasn't working and I should have asked myself why. It would have meant making some difficult decisions, but I would have made them cleanly. I think all too often we look for a reason to help us take a difficult decision. Falling for someone else is a reason to end a failing relationship; but it's not a good reason. Nor is it an honest reason. We don't fall for someone because they attract us more than the person we're with. We fall for someone else because we are unhappy with some element of our current relationship. So if we cheat, we're saying that we don't want to fix that element; instead we'll find a solution elsewhere.

That's why the cheating lover gets the pink slip from me; because if she really loved me, she'd fix it instead of looking for alternatives. My brain doesn't compute the "yes I cheated but I still love you" story. I know some of my friends will disagree; arguing that this is too simplistic a statement and ignores the complexities of emotion and human failings. For me, however, it is simple. You promised yourself to me and I to you. You break that promise, you lose my trust and once you have lost that, you have lost everything. I could never trust you again; and if I can't trust you, then I can't be with you.

See? Simple.

A New Year

This is a time when lots of people make resolutions. Promises to themselves to lose weight, give up smoking or whatever it is they feel they need to do. Very few will maintain their resolutions beyond the return to school/work/normal life etc.

So why do we make these promises to ourselves when we know there is a very high probability that we will fail to keep them? We make a lot of promises in the course of our lives. How many of them do we make without the slightest intention of keeping? How many of them were unattainable, meaning no matter how much we wanted to, we would never have been able to keep them? I stopped making New Year resolutions many years ago. A new year is a good time to take stock, but really we should always be taking stock of the precious things in our lives.

All of this got me to wondering about those promises we make to the "one" we love. How many couples this year will promise their love, loyalty, fidelity to just one person? More importantly, how many of them will manage to keep that promise?

We go into marriage or partnership, making that promise, yet for some reason at least 40% of us will cheat on our partner and 30% of those couplings will end up in the divorce courts. Today, a high percentage of young people go into marriage with the belief that this realtionship may not work. It doesn't stop them from making the promises to each other. So roughly one in three of us make a promise we, in all likelihood will not keep, to someone we care about deeply.

Of course, it's impossible to know in advance whether or not you can keep that promise; and it would be exceptionally naive of me to suggest that making a promise is anything close to black and white. But maybe it's not the making of the promise that needs attention. Afterall, we make our promises (or at least I hope we do) with the best of intentions. So why then do we break them? Was it a promise only until "someone I like better comes along"?

There's no point in pretending that getting married to someone stops you from being attracted to other people. It doesn't (despite what my wife might wish for!). But that promise you made should be the reminder that, whilst you might be attracted, you already have something attractive and precious back home. Something that's built on trust - the trust that you will keep your word; that you will cherish and hold dear the love of another. When we break our promise, we break that trust.

That doesn't mean being married equals not being attracted by other people. I know that I flirt with people I'm attracted to - it just happens, blood flows in my veins and I will be attracted to a pretty woman, such is life. But there's a line. Sure there are times when the lust meter kicks in and you think "wow" and other such thoughts.. ahem.. ok, back on track. I'm realistic. I don't try to kid myself that being married means I'll never have feelings for someone else; but to take those feelings anywhere beyond friendship is stepping over that line.

We make promises when actually what we should be doing is acknowledging the compromises we will make in the course of our lives together. Two people cannot live together longterm without making compromises; balanced compromise - relationships falter when one partner does the compromising and the other always gets their way. That's the point when someone outside of the relationship becomes more attractive.

At what point do promises get forgotten?

I'm married and intend staying that way, so I don't have an answer to that one. One of my friends though has just got divorced and her view is that the promise is forgotten as soon as the ceremony is over. I'm not sure you can make a promise of this magnitude to someone you hardly know. My friend and her partner knew each other for less than a year when they married. Now maybe that seems a long time, but to me that means the relationship is still in the throws of lustful attraction. The negotiation stage hasn't yet been reached, and that's when we really get to know how deep our feelings are for someone. The negotiation stage is where we learn about our willingness to compromise for each other. That's when the makes or breaks happen and if you haven't reached that stage before you marry, then I guess that puts the promise into jeopardy.

So how did I get here? I was writing a short story, which has the working title of "the promise" although I doubt that will last the course. The fact that three of my friends are currently in the process of divorcing got me to thinking about promises and how easily we break them. I also wondered how much we are influenced by other peoples' relationships and not just our own parents. As a thought it has a lot of potential.

John Cleese said he thought that the marriage licence should be like a dog licence - renewable every three years or so. He may have a point - maybe three years in the first instance, renewable for a further 3 or for life. Now there's definitely a lot of potential in that thought!